Holiday Blues, Anxiety ...and COVID 19

The holidays can certainly present many challenges and this year we've another twist to contend with.  We are charged with the task of making decisions that will protect our health, and that of others, by following COVID-19 safety guidelines and recommendations. We'll wear masks and stay out of stores, no Christmas parties, no dining out with friends, no time spent with relatives...and it will be sad for many and much more than sad for many others. 
For those who already suffer from anxiety/depression, COVID has brought these symptoms to a new level. Christmas/Hanukkah celebrations in general have created anxious feelings pre-COVID,  so where is the common thread?  Anxiety is created when we set expectations ie:  Expectations for how another will respond, for how fun an event will be, for how lovely a family gathering will turn out, etc.  Expectations influence the advent of anxiety in three ways: 1) we spend thoughts and time reviewing expectation to exhaustion,  2) we try to control all of the outcomes in our expectations even though most are not in our control, 3) we play the 'what if' scenarios over and over again to try to anticipate every possible thing that could go wrong. In the end, things unfold as they do and we are both anxious and disappointed. 
How can we avoid this? 
1) Manage expectations...keep it real. Try not to anticipate huge merry holiday events that are likely not going to take place this year. Recognize that our own expectations will create anxiety. 
2) Acknowledge that 2020 is less than perfect...make peace with COVID, it's here ( and it will be temporary )Making believe life hasn't changed helps no-one . 
3) Honor your soul...Do only what you feel like doing this year and know that it's okay not to feel the same way you've felt in anticipation of holidays past. If you don't feel like decorating;  don't ( or do 'just enough' ). If you don't feel like making a big meal, or baking;  don't. In short, don't force what isn't really there for you this year ( next year will be better ) 

This year, instead of aiming for super Merry & Bright, aim for Calm & Acceptable and hang on the hope that changes are coming for next year. Think of it as a gift to yourself. 

Be safe & Be Peaceful
Karen

​Karen J Fluet Roy, LMHC, NCC, BSN RN